Don’t let your bowel keep you at home
It's natural to be nervous about venturing out if you experience bowel issues. But it is important to get back to living life, and that includes going out and socializing with others.
For many, transanal irrigation is an effective and predictable method of preventing incontinence and constipation, which can give you confidence. With TAI, you have control over when you evacuate your bowel and regular irrigations can allow you to stay continent for up to 2 days, giving you greater freedom to socialize when and where you choose!
The benefits of socializing outside your home
As tempting as it might be to stay in your comfort zone,this sometimes makes you more nervous in the long run. Your comfort zone could shrink, leaving you feeling isolated.
Maintaining social connections with friends and family will help to alleviate these feelings and can allow you to focus on the positives in life, rather than bowel concerns. Keeping your social ties active is as important as your irrigation. If you consider your social life to be a luxury and not a necessity, this can lead to more anxiety and isolation. Strong social connections are highly rewarding in the long run!
Making socializing easier
It may be daunting to socialize away from home at first. But with these simple tips, you can engage in an active social life and build your confidence over time.
Start small and build up
For anyone who is nervous about socializing after starting TAI, a “small-steps approach” is often a good idea. You may initially choose to simply meet a friend for a coffee, or take a short walk in your local area. Over time, you can extend these outings as your confidence grows.
Build flexibility into your plans
Try to stay open to different possibilities when socializing. While some get-togethers like a trip to a theatre are very fixed, a lot of the time, the most important thing is the social contact itself. If you are anxious about your irrigation that day, you may choose to visit a friend at their house for takeout, rather than trying a new restaurant. This is completely okay, and maintaining social connections is always more important than sticking to a rigid plan.
Find common interests to explore
At first, you may be nervous to get out and about, so organizing social activities that both you and your friends or family enjoy is an easy motivator. If your social group is excited to do something, this will rub off on you too and you will be less likely to cancel plans. Starting with easy motivators is a great way to build confidence and live your best life.
By really embracing your interests, you have the power to create an identity that is separate from your bowel issues. Take the time to reflect on what really motivates you and find people who have that same interest. Your shared passions will help you develop a strong connection and provide conversation topics that don't revolve around your condition.
Discussing TAI with my friends and family
If you have avoided social gatherings for a while, your friends and family will be excited to see you. If they know about your condition, they may even ask if something has changed.
Because of this, you may want to have a short explanation ready. Thinking about this in advance may help put your mind at ease in case the question arises. For example, you may simply want to explain that you have a new daily routine that involves irrigation, and this gives you more confidence to get out and about.
If you focus on the positive impact TAI has on your quality of life without being too technical about the irrigation itself, you can also reassure your friends and family about your situation without feeling you have overshared. It can be good to be open to questions, but you shouldn’t feel obliged to provide specific information about your routine and it is completely up to you if and when you choose to discuss this with them.
Open and honest conversations can help build confidence
Opening up and sharing your experience can be just as helpful to you as it is to your friends and family. Being honest with the people close to you may give you peace of mind when venturing out. If someone close to you knows about your situation and you have had these conversations, you know you have already got the support around you to overcome any challenges that may arise, and that can make all the difference when going somewhere new!
