What to expect after surgery
Once you have had your ostomy surgery, you may find that this impacts your physical relationships, intimacy, and sex in different ways. Here are some ways you may experience changes to how you relate to intimacy and sex, and possible starting points to overcoming these issues.
Discomfort during physical intimacy
The presence of an ostomy may place some limitations on what positions are physically possible when being intimate with a partner. In the weeks after your surgery, your abdomen may still be swollen or more sensitive, which can place constraints on intimacy.
Try to remain open to new possibilities and consider different ways you can be intimate. Experiment and see what feels good for you. You may need to explore new sexual activities or adapt existing ones to accommodate physical changes or limitations. Open communication, creativity, and a willingness to explore alternative forms of intimacy can help maintain a satisfying and pleasurable sexual relationship.
As your ostomy heals and you gain more confidence in your ostomy care, you may find more options are possible again. If you are concerned about what is possible, reach out to your ostomy nurse or doctor for advice specific to your situation.
If you want to know more about how the bowels work after stoma surgery, click the link below for more details.
Self-esteem and body image
Even if you have prepared yourself mentally for your ostomy, you may still find the adjustment a challenge, and it may affect how you see yourself. Sometimes, people may feel self-conscious about how it looks or functions, which may influence how confident you feel during intimate moments.
You may therefore wish to experiment with how you present your ostomy during intimacy. Sometimes, people like to wear underwear that helps to disguise their pouch or explore other ways to take the focus away from that area. Others may prefer to embrace their pouch as a part of their body and try different personal strategies to feel good while being intimate.
Practicing positive self-talk and self-acceptance may also aid your recovery and improve intimacy in your relationships. Try to frame your ostomy as a courageous and unique thing that enables you to live the life you want. Focus on aspects of yourself and your relationships that go beyond your ostomy and fill you with self-worth and confidence.
Sometimes, talking with your partner, a close relative or friend, or even seeking therapy can help improve your perception of yourself after surgery and therefore improve your relationships.
Worries about leakage or smells
Sometimes, fears of odor or leakage can affect a person’s ability to fully engage in physical intimacy. To overcome this concern, you may want to consider a supporting product to help you feel more confident.
There are various supporting products such as ostomy seals and rings you may choose to help increase the security between your ostomy barrier and your skin. These allow you to personalize the fit of your ostomy barrier and may improve your confidence. Special deodorants can also be used to help reduce odors. You can reach out to Coloplast Care to help find out which supporting products may be right for you.
Also, remember that maintaining a consistent care routine to ensure proper hygiene and maintenance can help reduce the risk of leakage and manage odor effectively. Changing or emptying your pouch before engaging in intimacy may also help to alleviate worries about leakage or odor.
What to remember:
- Intimacy and sexual relationships may differ after you have an ostomy
- For some people, being upfront about your concerns with your partner(s) may help you to relax as you can then take ownership over these challenges and work together to address them
- Others may wish to explore alternative approaches: additional supporting products or specific clothing may reduce worries about appearance, odor, or leakage
- By learning more about the role of the ostomy in advance of your surgery, you can begin to mentally prepare for this change to your body.
You are always in control of your body, and it is up to you how much you want to share with others, even with your partner. Every person reacts differently to intimacy and there is no single solution for everyone. Sometimes experimentation is necessary to see what sits well with you. Coloplast Care is on hand to offer support if needed, you can reach out to your dedicated Care Advisor on 1-877-858-2656, (8 am – 6 pm, Central Time).
This information is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice and should not be interpreted to contain treatment recommendations. You should rely on the healthcare professional who knows your individual history for personal medical advice and diagnosis.
Call your healthcare provider if you have any medical concerns about managing your ostomy. You may also contact your Coloplast® Care Advisor for product usage and availability questions at 1-877-858-2656.
