Going through the changes you have been through is not just a physical, but a mental challenge as well.
Losing something that you have always known can be very unnerving. This is true for most everyone – not just for people with an ostomy. Many people perceive their body as a sort of materialization of their identity, and when that changes radically, as with ostomy surgery, it can shake up your understanding of who you are.
Allow yourself time to grieve
Drastic change like having an ostomy can spark feelings of alienation, and most people will have some level of struggle with accepting the ostomy as a part of them.
With time the feeling of alienation will go away, but until it does, it is important that you allow yourself to grieve over what you have lost. Grief can be a positive and necessary part of the process – and not something you need to suppress or fear.
Of course, if you are experiencing extreme stress or a feeling of hopelessness, you must seek professional help immediately. If you are unsure of what to do, call your doctor or ostomy care nurse and let them know as honestly as possible how you feel.
Will I be a burden?
A common worry for people with an ostomy is that they are a burden to their surroundings, leading some to keep their ostomy a secret - or at least taboo. But letting people who care about you in, and allowing them to help you, will likely make things much easier.
Your friends and family are probably looking for ways to support you - so never feel bad about letting them, as they will only feel privileged to be included.
Will I ever be myself again?
When you are going through the mental healing process, it is very normal to begin to fear if you will ever be truly able to free yourself from unhappy thoughts.
Try to allow yourself some mental rest by not putting pressure on yourself to feel a certain way. There are things you cannot simply rush through or will into happening.
The mind is a strong and beautiful thing, and it can heal in extraordinary ways if we let it. But just as the physical healing process after surgery took its time, so does the emotional healing. You will be yourself again – albeit a slightly different version, perhaps even stronger than before.
Feel like you're stuck?
If you feel you have waited a long time for progress to show itself, do not shy away from seeking professional help. Your doctor or ostomy care nurse can no doubt help point you in the right direction, if necessary.
