Your child may be negative towards irrigations at times. It is important to manage these emotions carefully, so they have a healthy relationship with transanal irrigation (TAI). Always make sure they feel listened to and understand that their concerns are valid. Follow the tips below to help your child overcome their negative emotions towards TAI.
Always show you understand their feelings
Even if you are frustrated that your child is kicking up a fuss when it is time to complete an irrigation, it is important to remain calm. Give your child the freedom to express their emotions and tell you how they feel. This will help your child to feel understood. And once your child feels understood and validated, they feel safe. This will make it easier to continue with the prescribed TAI routine.
Make sure to say things like, “I know this looks like a big task and can feel overwhelming” or “It’s ok if you feel nervous”. By using phrases like this, you show you’re on the same page as your child and understand that what you’re asking them to do may be hard. You can then work together to make the irrigations as easy as possible.
Give your child choice
Children are often, and understandably bewildered when faced with unknown medical challenges and treatments. They may not always understand what is going on and face a reality where they are not in full control of their body. Even though all efforts are made in their best interest, at the end of the day, you and their doctor are making all of the decisions regarding their bowel management.
To help combat these concerns, try to find ways that your child can exert their own control over the situation. Perhaps they cannot choose when to do TAI, but maybe they can choose what they do whilst they wait to complete their irrigation. For example, do they want to read, draw, or play a game?
If your child is a little older, you may also want to include them in the irrigation process itself. This may mean that you get them to fill up the water bag themselves or pump up the balloon catheter. Involving your child in these processes is a way to make sure they feel included in completing their irrigation routine.
Set clear expectations
Clear expectations are also important to communicate. You must ensure that you hit the prescribed number of irrigations and follow your routine. By being clear about what needs to be done from the start, your child will be less anxious as they will have a full picture of what is going on.
In the event you hit a bit of a wall with your child, calmly remind them of how TAI works and be sure to emphasise the long-term picture.
Give a clear outlook
Whenever you are facing a trying time with your child and TAI, try to reframe the problem in terms of the benefits. Talk to your child about what TAI allows them to do and think of something fun you can do because you have completed your irrigation. TAI can enable your child to remain continent for up to 2 days.
You may therefore want to think about a fun outdoor activity you can do together and explain how TAI will help to give them the confidence to do this, without worrying about their bowel.
Rewards
Always praise your child after a good irrigation. Irrigating can be difficult, and it is important to reward success. You may wish to create a reward system like a sticker chart, with a small present for every 5th successful irrigation, or every time they complete their TAI routine without complaining. A rewards-based system can help to give your child something to work towards and may motivate them to try harder with TAI.
