The foundation of intimacy and great sex life with TAI
You need to be comfortable to share your needs and fears with your partner. Although it may be uncomfortable to discuss your bowel symptoms with your partner, open communication around your bowel condition may serve to bring you closer together and provide a great foundation for your intimate life.
Ask for your partner’s understanding
Everyone has some days that are better than others. This is also the case for people that use TAI. If you have had an unsatisfactory irrigation or are otherwise feeling down, ask for their understanding and be honest about your emotions. You can always phrase this in a way that makes your needs known to them, whilst also letting your partner know that you are working towards a solution.
For example, you can say you have had trouble with your irrigations, and therefore want to change your plans or do something else instead. If you are to frame this in a way that shows you have a handle on the problem and how you will overcome this, it may lessen your partner’s worry and also keep them involved.
Don’t neglect physical intimacy
Open and honest communication is also key to a great sex life. Try to talk openly about your concerns and tell your partner what your needs are.
Sex does not have to have a rigid definition. If it feels good for you, you can define sex however you want. It is totally up to you! Sometimes what we automatically think of as “sex” may just not feel comfortable for you on a certain day. There are tons of other options out there that are just as fun. Be creative, and do what feels pleasurable, whatever that means for you.
Seek out counselling if necessary
Sometimes, sex and physical intimacy are challenging when living with bowel dysfunction due to anxiety surrounding symptoms or low self-esteem. Cognitive behavioural therapy is a form of psychotherapy that can focus on symptom-related concerns and help people develop personal coping strategies to overcome these issues.
Talking openly with your partner about your fears or needs regarding intimacy can be challenging. If this case it may be possible to seek out individual or couples’ counselling. Working together with a therapist, you may be able to dig deeper and determine what aspects of your bowel issues and TAI continue to interfere with your dating and sex life. Together, you can then begin to find solutions.
