After my operation I found it very hard to dress. I struggled just to get my head around how I needed to dress, let alone actually find anything to wear.
I felt like nothing suited me. Anything big round the waist, I felt like I was wearing a tent. Anything more fitted, I felt made the bag obvious – on reflection, it probably didn't, that was just my fear. Plus I still wasn't feeling well enough to be traipsing round shops.
Clearing out my closet
Every time I opened my wardrobe my heart would sink looking at all these gorgeous clothes that I had accumulated over the years, some having special meanings, especially the items passed down to me from my mum and I was devastated that I wouldn't get to wear them again.
Getting dressed became a nightmare because I would spend the whole time looking at what I wanted to be wearing. Eventually I decided it was time to take control of the situation, starting with a major clear out.
I have heard many times before that you should clear out your wardrobe once a year and throw out anything that you haven't worn in two years. I have never done this! As a result this seemed like a huge and daunting task, so I needed to make it fun.
Make a fashion show out of it
Get your partner, a couple of friends, your sister, anyone whose opinion you would trust round and give them a fashion show.
It will make it more fun having a support team there but the main reason you want others there is because, having a change to your body can feel like it did when you were a teenager with a spot – you feel like there is a bright red beacon shouting, "look how awful I look" but no-one else even notices until you point out how horrid it is.
The same will go for your ostomy, so a second opinion is always a good idea. Try everything on and split into 'keep' or 'get rid', but don't throw your good 'get-rid' clothes out; I have a very good use for them.
Out With The Old & In With The New
Now there is one obvious thing you need when revamping your wardrobe – money! The saying is; 'one woman's rubbish is another woman's treasure,' and I definitely think this is true of clothes.
Since having a colostomy bag, I am suddenly looking at clothes that I wouldn't have seen before. My sister came round wearing a jumper that would be perfect for me post-surgery so I asked her where she bought it.
Save money by swapping clothes
I know that I have loads of lovely tops my sister would look great in that I'm never going to wear now so it gave me the idea for a clothes swap. You basically invite friends, everyone brings clothes they no longer wear and you all swap.
If you are not keen on the idea of hosting your own swishing party, you may be able to find organised parties you can go along to, again all with varying degrees of seriousness and organisation on your part.
Some tips for selling your clothes
Selling your clothes is another option. There are hundreds of website dedicated to selling second hand clothes.
It may also be worth checking Facebook for a local selling page so people can just come and pick them up, save posting items all over the place, we have a wonderful one for my area.
Looks that work well
Patterns make it harder to identify any bumps and movement.
Ruching, especially when it is on the same side as your ostomy, will hide all manner of sins. I have even more good news... ruched gives the illusion of a smaller waist. So it will hide the ostomy and make you look slimmer – what could be better than that?!
High-waisted jeans, trousers or leggings – they effectively act a bit like a protective layer, over the bag. I have found that I can even wear tight tops again over the top of my jeans which has been quite revolutionary for me.
Rockabilly – Think 1950's glamour! Pinching in at the waist and flaring back out again. This again is very slimming as your waist is your thinnest point and then it flares out so you can't see anything underneath.
One final piece of advice
The biggest piece of advice I think I can give when it comes to coping post surgery is – be kind to yourself. Your body (as well as your heart) has been through an astonishing ordeal and it will take time for your body to settle and for your concerns of how you look to dwindle.
